dorothy-cotton: Another year passes me by. I feel myself growing older each day, not so much aging as I am decaying. Rotting, slowly, from the outside in. Life is pain. Life is cruel. The moment you part from your mother’s womb, you are truly alone - trapped in the shall you call a body. And yet we celebrate birth. Cake. Candles. a mockery. A monument to my torment. dude u gotta...
Teacher: How did you get thirty two as the answer?
Me: it made sense in my head
usingtimewisely: the kid who volunteers to read, but can’t pronounce 90% of the words.
laughoutloudrightnow: gurl don’t get excited they ain’t condoms they’re only kfc wipes
worstcoast: no matter how many new clothes i buy i never know what to wear
theneverfadinglight: What if I was Quality
That moment when your friend says "Let's take a...
the-absolute-best-posts: sodamnrelatable This is a great blog to follow, seriously
helloimashoutyman: If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced. That’s why people with no sense of humour have an increased sense of self-importance.
landofcryptsandhelium: here comes hurricane jugenmujugenmugokonosurikekaijarisugemosugematsuunraimatsufuraimatsukurunetokoronisuremotokoroyaburakoujinoburakoujipaipopaipopaiponoshuringashuringanogurindaigurindaigurindainoponpokupiponpokunanochoukyuumeinochousuke
harleyquinnsexual: solluxcaptor: unclefather: if you drop a baby the 5 second rule still applies the 5 second rule only applies to things that you’re going to eat so it does apply
finefools: glamydia: excuse me urban outfitters i believe you owe my eyes an apology more like chukka that shit in the garbage
youcancallmepotter: i just ordered pizza from domino’s and went to the online tracker and found out that THIS IS A FUCKING OPTION ON THIS WEBSITE AND MOST OF THESE ARE KIND OF NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO THE THIRD-TO-LAST AND THE VERY LAST ONE AND THEN IT JUST GETS KIND OF FUCKING CREEPY.
hideokojima: le0previat0: hideokojima: le0previat0: hideokojima: SHIt im late for brazilian school *puts bikini on and walks away dancing samba while listening to funk* this is funny because im brazilian WHO CARES its actually pretty accurate DID I ASK YOU SOMETHINGH
Me at school:
me: okay that's cool, just stop in the middle of the hallway, i have all day
me: omfg you're so stupid
me: you got some face on your make-up
me: stop laughing so loud he's not that funny
me: stop screaming you’re right next to her whore
me: i'm so fuckin' hungry, when is this torture going to end
me: why am i here
me: fuck my life
andrewbreitel: are you made of fluorine and silver? because you’re a
ventusta: mrs. puff is pretty badass i mean she’s been arrested like 30 times
iamhamburglar: jessied181: tltty: what if in school instead of raising our hands we raised our legs When you have a really “good” answer.
fishisherman: my history teacher has this hanging in her room and everytime i see it i start choking
matthewwachter: offending people just comes naturally to me i don’t even need to try
j-moriarty: joeshmo: shavingryansprivates: romeo romeo where the fuck is you, romeo Fuck you, the original line in Romeo and Juliet is “Wherefore art thou”. And maybe if you stopped being an assumption-making bag of fucking asshole, you’d know that wherefore does NOT FUCKING MEAN “WHERE”, WHEREFORE MEANS “WHY”. SHE’S ASKING WHY HIS NAME IS ROMEO. FUCK ALL OF YOU. FUCK ALL OF YOU HARD UP...
paulsenspecters: It’s almost autumn. I can smell the series premieres in the air. #I love the smell of fandom in the morning
*hears noises at night*: well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life
*gets shampoo in my eyes*: I guess I'm blind now how am I ever going to see my first born child
*heart is beating fast*: I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is
*a cop walks by*: here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone
*taking a test*: don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school and amount to nothing
*gets a sunburn*: great now I have skin cancer how will I tell my parents