Things I Never Learned In High School
dontcomecryingtome: How to do taxes What taxes are How to vote What political parties are How to write a resume/cover letter/anything related to getting a job How to write a check/balance a check book Anything to do with banking How to do loans for college How to jump start a car or other basic emergency things How to buy a car or house but I’m so glad I know the fucking pythagorean...
liampaynetration: I can’t wait to turn 18 because I’ll be instantly hot that’s how the rules go
izzetheking: I bought condoms today at walmart so the cashier would be like Wow your probably a really cool guy because your buying condoms which means you probably have a girlfriend. But in actuality I’m very lonely with no girlfriend and now I’m blowing up the condoms like a balloon until they pop and crying because it startles me everytime it pops.
I don’t like morning people or mornings or people
hartnell-down: Literally, one of the best feelings in the world is when you just blow your nose and suddenly AIR I CAN BREATHE I CAN FIGHT
Anonymous asked: y r u such a faqqot lol
commanderinqueef: help I’ve fallen and am perfectly capable of getting up but refuse to
shortest horror story ever
computer: unable to connect to the internet
HBP: How did Harry not realize the hand writing in...
#because Harry’s an idiot that’s why #For the main character of such a good book series #He really is an idiot #Ooh what is this long skinny broomstick shaped package? #ITS A BROOMSTICK NO WAY #Slytherin house is a snake #heir of slytherin can talk to snakes #HMM I WONDER WHAT’S IN THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS #MAYBE IT’S A CHIHUAHUA #see this is why he’s not in ravenclaw
lolsofunny: who needs one direction when you’ve got the best boy band there is wtfsofunny.info | sodamnrelatable
imawanchor: today a 15 year old girl won a gold medal in the olympics and i woke up at one in the afternoon and stayed sat in the same spot for 6 hours
atomicairspace: copperbooms: when did tumblr collectively decide not to use punctuation like when did this happen why is this a thing it just looks so smooth I mean look at this sentence flow like a jungle river
Me watching the Olympics at age 8: Oh that's nice
Me watching the Olympics at age 12: Wow I hope we win
Me watching the Olympics at age 16: I'm going to fuck the entire swim team and no one can stop me
So there's only one channel in this motel,
madeofmetals: This morning while I was getting ready I was watching Sesame Street. They were doing this bit where some clown was trying to wash his hands but kept washing his feet or his elbows and Elmo would go, “no mister noodle, your HANDS!” and all the tv kids would laugh. Around the fourth or fifth time he couldn’t find his hands, I heard a grown man yell from somewhere else in the motel,...
puckermanfabray: lets play “which download link is the real one”
rosemaryfinchs: if this reaches 2,000 notes I will pose with my laptop for my senior photos